The employee who made all of Hawaii think it was about to be destroyed has been reassigned.
Richard Rapoza, an official with the Hawaii Emergency Management System, declined to say on Monday what the worker’s new job entails, or where he will be stationed.
We’re thinking a weather station in Alaska, maybe?
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The situation parallels the 1981 movie Stripes, in which bumbling Captain Stillman is sent to a boring job in the Arctic after his mistakes cause American and communist forces to engage in battle.
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“All we will say is that the individual has been temporarily reassigned within our Emergency Operations Center pending the outcome of our internal investigation, and it is currently in a role that does not provide access to the warning system,” Rapoza said.
Rapoza also declined to identify the worker and confirmed that members of the agency have received death threats as a result of the mishap.
The Federal Communications Commission is also investigating the mishap, which caused 38 minutes of terror Saturday morning for 1.4 million Hawaiians.
The snafu happened several weeks after Hawaii reinstated its Cold War-era nuclear warning system after North Korea ratcheted-up tensions by firing another ballistic missile.
At about 8:05 a.m. Saturday, the worker initiated an internal test by accessing a drop-down menu on a computer program that presented him with two options: “Test missile alert” and “Missile alert.” He was supposed to choose the first option. He chose the second.
At 8:07 a.m., cellphones across the archipelago pinged with the following all-caps warning: “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.”
Whoever the worker is, hopefully he can at least earn a job in a temperate climate by 2020. Who wants to vote for Trump in a blizzard?