Revisiting Beto’s Sick (and Hilarious) Cow Poem “The Song of the Cow”


Ok folks, get ready to laugh!

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t find Robert Francis O’Rourke any laughing matter, and his recent attacks on President Trump have been downright despicable.

But sometimes instead of taking the Democrats seriously, you just have to take them at face value at let them implode on their own.  

So that’s what I’m doing and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

This story came to light a few months ago, but given his recent unfounded attacks on President Trump, I thought it was time to re-examine the character of a man (and I do use that term loosely) who thinks he is the moral judge of President Trump.

So behold, I give to you the 100% true (sad and hilarious as that may be) poem written by Robert Francis O’Rourke, beautifully titled “The Song of the Cow”.

Please enjoy:

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Somebody call up the people who award the Pulitizer and let’s get this submitted!  😂🤣

Think that's funny?

It is, but not nearly as funny as watching this guy try to read it outloud for the first time.

Get ready to laugh a lot:

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And lest you think this is somehow made up (who could even make this crap up?) I give to you this article from the Washington Examiner:

Beto O'Rourke's youthful artistic experiments included a poem pleading for genital grooming and a sacred cow to lactate, according to newly unearthed documents. 

At age 16 in 1988, under the pseudonym - "Psychedelic Warlord" - O'Rourke, now 46, authored "The Song of the Cow" — a bizarre piece of experimental writing that included lines asking for a cow to "buff" and "scrub my balls." 

An excerpt of the poem can be viewed below: 

I need a butt-shine, 
Right now 
You are holy, 
Oh, sacred Cow 
I thirst for you, 
Provide Milk.

Buff my balls, 
Love the Cow, 
Good fortune for those that do. 
Love me, breathe my feet, 
The Cow has risen.

Wax my ass, 
Scrub my balls. 
The Cow has risen, 
Provide Milk.

"The Song of the Cow" isn't the only odd piece of written work recently excavated from the former Texas congressman's past. As part of a Reuters investigation published Friday, it was discovered that O'Rourke — who was a member of the hacking group "Cult of the Dead Cow" — wrote a short story about deliberately running over a group of children in his car. 

“As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two. I was so fascinated for a moment, that when after I had stopped my vehicle, I just sat in a daze, sweet visions filling my head," O'Rourke wrote

Did CBS Just Publish The Infamous “Clinton Kill List”?

Thankfully for O'Rourke's chances in the Democratic primaries, he is not alone in having a past that contains some unusual writings. 

In 1972, Sen. Bernie Sanders wrote an essay in the Vermont Freeman describing a woman who "fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously." Sanders wrote: "And Men. Men are in pain too. They are thinking, wondering. What is it they want from a woman? Are they at fault? Are they perpetrating this man-woman situation? Are they oppressors? The man is bitter."

VOTE TRUMP, Never Looney Dems! 👍

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